“All human being share the same deepest longings: to know and be known, to hold and be held, to love and be loved, to experience connection without walls and expression without censors.
Silent whisper knocks at the door of every soul, with a trickle of curious doubt we open the door and with the flood of subtle truth our heart is opened to embrace it. Many call it Love other refer to it as emotion unexplained whose purpose is to unite us all.
For us to start dating we need to understand what Love is.
As much as we agree that love is fun and reasonable funny we must stay true to the fact that love is not a joke.
In this post I intend to share 5 foundation questions we need to ask and be reasonably satisfied with the answer in other to avoid story that touch.
#1 WHY SHOULD I LOVE YOU? (Question For Him).
Some people believes there is unconditional love but I have my reservations which I will share in exclusive section accessible only to subscribers.
Love is reasonable when there is a reason for it. If you ask some people why do you love him, they often say I don’t know I just love him. The purpose for a thing determines it’s value.
You can’t afford to live on assumption and don’t expect him to just speak out when the question has not been asked.
Eg Why should I love you? Because you are my honest choice for a life companion.
“Record the vision
And inscribe it on tablets,
That the one who reads it may go with the right message.
#2 WHAT DO I HOPE TO ACHIEVE IN LOVING THIS PERSON. (Question For You)
Every relationship should have a goal or frankly put a purpose.
If you ask some people why do you love him/her they will tell you I don’t know I just love him/her.
PLEASE, don’t feel at this point that you are selfish, it’s a future investment and you need to be certain about what you are doing.
Commitment need to be sure and reassured so you know you both are on the same page.
What do I hope to achieve with this person, is he meeting my present goal and does he have the capacity to meet my future goal.
In life you need someone who will fight with you, will he be there? is he loyal?, is he a quitter in time of crises?, can he be trusted. Sometime we are so carried away by the romance of it all and forget the practicality of it all. We are measuring is he tall enough so I can wear hills, will he be good in the pictures, is her curve fit enough for the red carpet and we neglect the very thing that matter.
#3 DOES HE/SHE NEED OR VALUE MY LOVE (Question For Us)
Everybody want love but not everyone need this love from you. You know who need your love by the value he/she place on it. Love those who need your love from a close and those who just want it from a distance. It is better someone chooses you in mist of several options that when you are the only option.
I feel it’s not ideal for a guy to chase after a woman because if both of you want the same thing then there is no need for someone chasing and another running.
Don’t give this kind of love to someone who doesn’t value it else you will live your entire life becoming a slave to your feeling and worst always pleasing.
#4 DOES HE/SHE HAVE THE CREDENTIALS (Question For The Ministry)
It’s observed that physical beauty or look does not guarantee a happy and faithful relationship. The most beautiful “well endowed girls” have been abused and cheated on and the most handsome and rich guys have also been cheated on too. Faithfulness is a matter of discipline with right character.
Does he/she got the physical credential. Men are moved by sight then some walk by faith afterwards. People are different so is our preferences. Observe if he/she has what moves you to function, tangible physical attraction need not to be ignored. Ensure you are not following your friends or media’s definition of an ideal look, be honest with yourself you need to like what you want to love.
Does he\she have the academic credential or is he/she working towards it. While taking life decision you needs to be holistic about it. Age is a cultural issue but it is worth considering. Walk with a vision because Love is not blind.
#5 HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO.
“to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.
We’ve all heard this ancient vow in wedding ceremonies. As much as I have some reservations about some clauses there, let’s stick to the intent of it all.
You must not be carried away with the curiosity of emotions and you neglect the practicality of it all. What you need is someone who got your back not someone who floods your ears with sweet words, take you round the world only to quit when challenges comes or as day go by. You need to know how far is he/she willing to go.
For those who are married I assume you have already answered these foundation questions. If the foundation was faulty what shall the married do? Give thanks, understand what Love is (click here) , rebuild the foundation, learn how to make your relationship healthy ( click here) and believe the best is yet to come.
For those who are still in a relationship or yet to enter into one, answer these questions and be sincere in your answers, don’t love out of pity or duress but love for a purpose.
-By Godfrey Damabel.
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