HOW CAN I TRULY LOVE?

And yet, when real love is staring you in the eyes, when a loving partner stands before you, you may notice a disconcerting urge to withdraw, to put up walls, or even to run. -Sheryl Paul

Indeed love is not by force, it takes a willing heart to truly love and a lovely soul to express it sincerely . How can I truly love when “real love is staring me in the eyes, when a loving partner stands before me, and suddenly I notice a disconcerting urge to withdraw, to put up walls of excuses or even to run”?.

IGNORE THE FEARS AND ENJOY THE MOMENT
Everyone at some point in their life had experienced pain, rejection or betrayal but using an imperfect world to build a barrier for yourself is a fight you either overcome today or you will certainly face in near future.

To love is opening one’s self to the possibility of getting hurt by such we put on unconscious excuses to postpone the day. Excuses like I am waiting for Mr right or queen charming, the right time or some sweet religious excuses of which I rather not mention.
Some even say, she is not really what I want, if you question further you’ll realise they got no idea what they want nor where what they want is.

Sheryl Paul a relationship counsellor suggested that when ever you hear “He’s not cute enough”, or “She’s not social enough,” (or whatever the area is where your fear hangs its hat), say to yourself, “That’s fear and defence talking. It’s not the truth”. The healing process comes quickly when you replace the doubts with the truth. The truth is the purpose of the relationship and the conviction that makes you start the relationship in the first place.

Due to our divers experiences and desires untold we are caught up with the complexities of expectations , the earlier we make peace with our expectations and what we really need the better we can live in the gift of today.

DON’T LIVE IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.
Some people are so interested in love stories and they actively participate in the romance of others as a way of unconsciously satisfying themselves. Some make such people their role model forgetting that what they see could be just a career screen play or red carpet illusion.

Reading fantasy books just to satisfy your curiosity about love is not only delusional but can be damaging. Some observe crush with certain celebrity and forget it’s not real, they are just leaving in another person’s life by such they find it hard to have a life of their own.
Have your own relationship, live in it, work with it and let others admire it.

IGNORE THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU MIGHT GET HURT.
The only way you can truly love is to remove the possibility that you might get hurt along the way. If you care too much about yourself you will care too little about others. Make peace with the moment you have and enjoy the gift of today. Don’the be anxious for nothing.

Ignore contracting view that goes against your relationship after all there is no expert when it comes to the practicality of relationship matters.

BLOCK THE UNNECESSARY DISTRACTIONS

By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination -Christopher Columbus

Make your relationship status known to your friends especially the online ones whose job is just to entertain themselves by flirting judiciously. Having someone to fill in the void that you feel is insatiable by your partner only widen the wounds. Communicate to each other and make sincere effort to bridge all gaps by yourselves than filling people in.

The most obvious drawback of social media is that they are aggressive distractions. Bill Keller.

Own your relationship and make it your own, nurture it for it to grow, monitor it and make sure its healthy, healthy enough to be admired by you and others. While you hope for tomorrow, enjoy the gift of today.

• By Godfrey Damabel.

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Cheers.